Crazy Crazy Crazy

Hey hey hey everyone! How is everyone doing? Pretty good here, just studying for my permit test. This will be my third time taking it lol! Its so crazy! I hate how they ask questions that could have so many different answers! Anyways, my parents dont think that it is too funny that I keep failing. My dad gets so mad, so my mom is taking me tomorrow because I dont want to get yelled at again. They said if I didnt pass tomorrow then I would have to wait three months to go back...thats so crazy! I am so stressed with all these tests that I have to take...even this stupid permit test. Who knew that 18 questions could be so hard to answer. I get so nervous to it is so crazy! I have no clue why though, I gues just because I know if I fail then my dad will get crazily mad and I really dont like that. This week with finals is absolutely bizzare as well. I have a teacher who wont leave me alone and another one who is making the final absolutely hard! There is some stuff on the final that I dont even know if we ever learned. If we did, then my whole class didn't learn it because theres a bunch of us who dont understand. Well I need to go and get some rest. I might post more tomorrow! Later all!

A Poem I wrote

ALL SHE WANTS IS LOVED

She sits in a corner,
Her face in her hands,
Crying the tears,
Of an urgent demand.

All alone in the world,
No one to give her a hug.
Not even a smile,
Nothing but a shove!

The thoughts of death,
Stream across her mind.
She thinks about saying good-bye,
One last time.

She hears a voice,
In the far off distance.
"My darling come to me,
Give me that one chance."

She stood up,
With all of her might.
And walked over to the voice,
In a bit of a fright.

She asked, "Who are you sir?
How do you know who I am?
Are you someone I know,
Or some strange man?"

He answered her slowly,
"I am your savior here to calm you down.
I'm here to tell you I love you,
And to change that frown.

Let me hold you my dear,
It is something you deserve.
You have been so beaten,
You have been so hurt.

I will never leave you my child,
Nor not love you again.
For I died for you,
And washed away all of your sins.

Dry your eyes precious one,
For you are loved.
It may not seem like it,
Because you have only been shoved.

Come close sweet thing,
As I tell you a secret.
Dont ever let go,
Dont ever forget it.

I have a special plan for you,
Something more than you can imagine.
You will bring my news to all,
You will be surprised at what will happen.

Through you many will come to know me,
And they will experience my love.
The only love that is forever,
Its the love from above.

Please dont take you life right now,
Oh my it is way to soon.
You are just now beginning to blossom,
Just now beginning to bloom.

Hold on tight to this promise,
As I leave you on earth.
Pray to me when you are scared,
Or whenever you are hurt.

I love you my child,
You are so precious and dear.
Remember whevever you are,
I am always near!

Birthday Party

I guess this is a situation where you can say, I really know who my true friends are. Last night this was proven. One of my so called best friends said she couldn't come to my party because she was going to another girls party. Well, I told her that I was okay with it and didn't let her know how I truly felt. Inside I was crying because it really hurt that one of my "best friends" wasn't coming. Then the party came. Jen, Amanda, Emmy, Laura, Katie, Ally, and I had a blast. There were other kids there who had a blast as well but this just showed me who my realy friends were. They didn't go to some other party and totally ditched me. They stayed with me the whole time. The party was a lot of fun. We danced almost the whole time and did karaoke. Rose, a co-worker of my dads, sang karaoke with me. She has a very pretty voice and I was glad to be able to sing with her. Thanks everyone who came! Two more days until the actual birthday!!

Our First Loss

Yeah, so we lost our first game. We didn't do so great...and some of the girls on our team were totally ticking me off. Not because of how they were playing, but because of their attitudes. We have the girls who suck up, then the girls who dont care about what coach thinks of them. It is totally crazy. My knee is killing right now. I threw a lot of rise balls tonight and that it was usually hurts my knee pretty badly. Then the news reporter man was scaring the heck out of me when he was interviewing me. I couldn't understand him because of some funky thing with his lip and then he like got so close to me it was so scary. I just finished my chem lab write up and I dont think that it is so great. Some of the stuff I really didn't understand and I asked someone and they didn't know so I just put something down. Its better than getting a zero on it. 5 more days until my birthday. Next Tuesday I am going for my permit and if I pass the test my dad is going to let my drive home from our game that night. I am so excited! I so cannot wait! Talk to you all later!

Worse Days to Come

Yep, things are getting so much worse. Tonight I feel like I cant do anything right. Things in school are going horrible, I dont even know if I am going to pass many of my classes. My parents are going crazy on me. Everyones going mad on me. I feel so alone, the only one who loves me anymore is God. I seriously am about to give up on anything and everything that I can and try to do. My knee is rehurt because my coach made a mistake but yet my parents take it out on me. I cant stop crying tonight either. I was going to call and talk to someone about it but I dont think that I can. I am scared that they are going to go off on me too or something. Who knows...but all I know is that things need to improve or else Im going to explode. Teachers aren't helping me with anything. I dont want to go to school anymore. My birthdays next week and believe it or not I dont really care about it. Im getting my permit and I dont really care. Its like nothing matters anymore. I just want things to settle down and be the way they used to be. The only friends I have I think are Dewey and Jen. Sometimes I even wonder..but they love me I know that! Oh well I guess it will pass..