Jen's Blog: August 2007

An Interview With God

I think that this is so well put together! It answers questions that we all have had, and I believe that this is something that many need to see!

Love...Sucks

Sigh...I dont get this at all. My so called boyfriend decided that he wanted to tell my best friend that he liked her. So of course she came and rubbed it in my face...I dont even know what to think right now. Of all people...my best friend! Well...she is no longer my best friends...best friends dont go around bragging and it seems like she was deliberately trying to hurt me. The past two weeks both of them have been acting funny and I should have suspected this. Ugh it hurts so badly. I just dont understand why a friend would do this. Is this God's way of trying to show me something? I cant even begin to explain how much this hurts. I cant wait to go to college and get out of this place. I want to start over. I want things to not hurt like this anymore. It sucks so badly. I dont understand why God is letting this pain happen! Is it because I have become too comfortable? I just dont understand...

Stained Glass Masquerade

This song has meant something lately. I am tired of being seen as what everyone at church wants me to be. I have been so caught up in what they want that my relationship with God is barely existing right now. This song has encouraged me and helped me. I pray it does you too.

You Are Worth More

A whore is what I will be for the rest of my life. If you would have asked me a while back what I would be doing the rest of my life, that is the answer that you would have gotten. When Christ entered into my heart, I knew that there was something more to this life. Growing up, I never saw me as a teacher or anything. I saw me as a sex object and thinking that that was all I was ever going to be. I have struggled with thinking that sex was all I was worth. I know that thats not true, because God has huge plans for me (Jeremiah 29:11.) I ask God why He let me be exposed to sex so early if He didn't plan for my life to be revolved around sex. I fell upon a passage in 1 Peter that basically opened my eyes to everything and I completely understood. Here is what it said:
Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter 4:12-13
I constantly thought that the pain that I endured was worth nothing, only to give me a future of more and more pain. Thats not what God has planned. My cousin believes that she is going to be an exotic dancer when she gets older. She believes that that is what her worth is. I knew that these were lies, but it took someone who loves me to finally get it into my head that I am worth so much more. Not only am I worth so much more, but so is everyone else who decides that they were made for nothing but horrible things. Colossians 1:16 mentions that everything was made by Him and for Him. Now if things were made for Him, and God said that everything He made was good (Genesis 1), why would we be created to be prostitutes or exotic dancers? Its satan telling us that this is what we are worth. We were made in the image of God (Genesis 1:27), and the image of God is not to be those things. You can be told over and over again that you are worth so much more, but sometimes you can't see past your pains. Sometimes its hard to see what others are seeing. You are worth so much more than those horrible things that you think you are worth, or the horrible things that happened to you that made you feel like that. God knows your pain, take it to Him!