First Day Of Classes

Gosh, I feel like I haven't blogged forever! Well, I am all moved in and absolutely love it. I kind of got homesick my first night, but I think the fact that I was tired and everything else really played into that. That was the only night that I kind of felt blah. I love my room...its pink! I met a lot of cool people and love it! My morning classes this morning were awesome, but the afternoon one's were kind of lame. I have a lot of work already, and am already procrastinating. Last night 3 of us went to wal mart and then taco bell just for the heck of it. Sounds just like at home! I miss everyone, but not badly enough to want to go home! I have found out one thing. I really really hate 8 am classes and believe that they are ungodly. The worship services here are amazing! There is never a moment when there isn't something going on. I am excited because I have the bottom bed! I tried getting on the top, but I couldn't reach it. My roomate on the other hand is really tall so she has no problem at all. Our room is a disaster...we aren't really settled in yet. Well, I am but thats besides the point. I learned that I can watch DVD's on my computer and have been watching Law and Order pretty much all weekend. I should be finishing my essay right now but most definetely do not feel like it!

3 More Days!

Wow, holy cow, I can't believe I only have three more days left until move in day at HU. I have two more full days left here, and we are leaving Thursday evening. Lately, its been kind of weird. I love listening to music, but sometimes it can get annoying. I turned on the radio last night, and Cadia's "Trust In Me" was playing. Just listening to the words made me realize that yes, we do need to trust in Him. It says even if you feel like alone, and even if your strength is gone, and your weary heart just trys to hold on. Umm...most definetely have had those feelings the past couple of days. Knowing that I have an awesome God in whom I can trust is just giving me the strength to go on. The same thing happened today! I came home and turned the radio on when I got into my room. Casting Crowns "Praise You In This Storm" was playing. I was like meh, a storm, I wouldn't consider this a storm. But one of the lines in the song really opened my eyes. You are who you are, no matter where I am! How awesome is that? When I move, God isn't going to change. He's going to be the same God in my life, and He's going to want to be a part of my life no matter where I am. He will never leave our sides, no matter what! Its amazing how God can speak through a song and bring us hope when we kind of feel on the edge and somewhat anxious about what is going to happen next. 3 more days...

Everything Through Prayer

Our communication with God. We pick up the phone and dial our friend's number, but yet sometimes they don't answer. We pick up with phone and dial God's number, and He always answers. Sometimes, we just need to talk to someone, and at times, there isn't anyone around to listen. Do we then just give up? Of course not! We can call upon God at anytime...no matter what time or how long we need to talk. Philippians 4:6 says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I am someone who worries a lot, but why worry when we know that God has everything under control. We need to take everything to Him through prayer knowing that He has complete control of our lives. John 16:24 says "Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete." God tells us that when we ask, we will receive. With a promise like that, why do we ignore? When God tells us that He has everything under control but we must come to Him, we do not? Our prayer lives are so important. I have found this extremely important lately. I am getting uneasy about leaving for college, if you couldn't tell by now! I just now realized that my nerves can be calmed and everything will be okay if I just trust in God and talk to Him. Talking to Him is relaxing, and giving Him all your worries is amazing. He will take away those negative feelings. He understsands whatever we are going through, and wants us to give them to Him. Everything in our lives should be consulted with God first. He cares, and wants to be a part of our every day life!

Finding Favor In God's Eyes

This morning, while reading my devotionals, it was all about Leah. I never really thought much about her story, but of course, in a devotional, you get a lot of insight. I always thought that Leah was probably a beautiful girl, but I guessed wrong! She was not the prettiest of them all, and because of this, she struggled a lot. Her own husband loved her sister Rachel more than her! The devotional this morning was talking about giving him her first child. God saw favor in her and opened her womb. This made me think. Her reaction to that child was like so many young girls today. Specifically, this is making me think of my one friend. She is pregnant, and the whole time in the beginning kept telling me that this was going to bring her and her ex back together. Needless to say, he never wanted to see her again. Leah's response was kind of the same. Hoping that this baby would bring him back to her, the little boy didnt. Leah still praised God for the child that she was given. She was trying to so hard to find favor in the eyes of people around her, that her self worth went down. That is what happens when we focus on the people around us to fulfill us. There is no satisfaction like the satisfaction that God gives us. We focus so much of our energy on pleasing people of this world that we ignore what God really has to offer us. He is the one that can bring complete fulfillment of our hearts! So, who are you looking to to find your self worth?

One More Week!

Its one more week until move in day, and I really don't have a lot of stuff packed. I have some, but mostly because my mom keeps telling me to do it. I've been stuck in the spot of "what am I doing". Lately I have felt like I am just taking myself to an extremely new place where I will have to start completely over. In some ways, I find that to be a good thing. It's like getting a second chance at everything. On the other hand, I feel like I have to build relationships again and everything else. Everyone tells me that this is my chance to get away...away from my past. But, I feel like I am running from it, not getting away from it. I do understand, however, that if its anything, I need to get away from certain things here and the only way to do that is to "run". Lately, its been really bad and getting away seems like a safe thing. Next week I say good bye to my best friend. We have been friends since like kindergarten and I can't imagine what school is going to be like without her. I feel like I'm having one huge pity party and I can't stand it. I want to be so excited about this but its like something is holding me back about it and I don't know what. Don't get me wrong, because I can be excited about all of this, but then I am torn down by my feelings of self doubt and sadness. I am hoping that as soon as I get out there, I will be okay, that its just the fact of being so far away is freaking me out. I better get packing...this may take a while!

Blaming Others

I am reading through a book right now, and actually, this was in a chapter that I read like last week, but something that I have been thinking about a lot. When something happens to us, we tend to blame others for the sin that we committ in response to that. Let me explain this a little better. Say that someone physically hurt you. Of course, you have anger towards that person. You decide that you are going to take your anger out on someone else and hurt them, or you are going to make another destructive choice. Who is to blame for your sin? If you are the one who committed the sin, would it not be your fault? Taking ownership of our own sin is not something that I have ever thought of before. I as well have been blaming others for my sin. And the sins that I know for a fact are mine, I try to hide them so I don't have to deal with them. Romans 5:12 says "Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned." So everytime we sin are we going to blame Adam? Sounds kind of ridiculous doesn't it? But thats kind of what we are doing when we blame those around us. What happens to you is someone elses sin, but the way you respond to it is your own sin. Take ownership of it, and it will make you stronger. Once you take ownership of that sin, you will be able to move on and take full committment to repenting from those things. This is probably one of the most amazing things that I have learned within the past week!

Forgiveness At Its Best

Have you ever had those people that hurt you so badly that you think, How can I possibly forgive them? Sometimes, it may just be a little thing that has frustrated you and you refuse to forgive out of anger. Is that the way that Jesus has taught us to be? Absolutely not. In the midst of moving, I have realized that there are many people who I have so much anger for that I have not forgiven. If the sinless God of my life can forgive me, what gives me the right to harbor anger and not to forgive those who sinned against me? Me, a sinful person at that! Matthew 18:21-22 shares what Jesus has to say about forgiveness. "Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, 'Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?' Jesus answered, 'I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.'" It doesn't say that we should only forgive when we feel like it, but to forgive seventy-seven times. And seriously, it does not mean after you forgive the person for the seventy-seventh time that you just stop forgiving. I love how Jesus puts that. Peter simply asks, probably because he was in a situation where he was getting frustrated with someone or tired of getting hurt by others. Peter also guessed an answer for Jesus. Peter says seven, yet Jesus says seventy-seven. A huge difference. Don't let the anger that you have for others hinder you from forgiving you. Remember what Christ does for us, and the least you should do for not only someone else, but for yourself. Unforgiveness for others is not exactly healthy for yourself.

Finding Strength In Him

The past couple of days, I have been lacking energy. I spent the whole weekend while my parents were gone staying at home and just reading. I also have felt sort of depressed, because this week and the beginning of next week is going to be full of me saying good bye to all of my friends. Yesterday morning was breakfast with Steph. That one wasn't so hard, because she goes to college about a half hour away from Huntington. Tonight, is Mary. Mary is one of my best friends. Of course, it is going to be hard. I want the energy that I usually have back, and I don't want to spend the rest of the week being depressed. I have a verse on a sticky note on my wall that really encouraged me. Psalm 18:32 "It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect." It doesn't say that we get our strength from our parents or friends. It doesn't say that we get our strength from energy drinks or millions cups of coffee. It says that we get our strength from God. It is God who arms me with strength. Make that personal...put yourself into that verse. It is God who arms ME with strength. Me meaning you! When it is personalized, it makes things a lot clearer. The God who created you is the God who is going to give you strength. When you feel weary, think on this verse and remember He is your source of strength. I know that for the next two weeks, I will be repeating this verse over and over in my head...He is MY strength!

Faith Beyond The Shadow Of Any Doubt

The past couple of days I have been getting really nervous about this whole college move. I have cried, and taken my eyes off of God. I have lost any faith that I may have had about this whole thing. It was within Him I knew that I was to be at Huntington, and in Him that I found the strength to persue it. But now, I am being a brat and not focusing on Him. I know that He can take away any fear or doubts that we have, because our master plan is in His hands! All of this has made me think of Lot's wife when they were leaving the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah. Genesis 19:26 "But Lot's wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt." She doubted God, she lost her faith in Him. That is how I see myself right now. Absolutely no faith in God in this circumstance, and I continuously look back to the past as to reason out why I should stay here. Thats not the way our relationship with God should be. We should trust in Him and put our faith in Him with no problem! He is our rock and someone that we can lean on through anything, not just somethings, but everything! Our faith needs to be not that much for God tells us this! Matthew 17:20 He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."A mustard seed...I may not know what that is exactly, but I can tell you that if its a seed, its not that big! So, when we face tough situations, and life changing things, embrace them with great faith in God knowing that He has your life in His hands!!!

The Temptations of Temptations

I absolutely love how God speaks to you just when you need it. You have friends you know that are not good for you, and you listen to countless people tell you over and over again that you are only setting yourself up for failure. Yeah, I heard that about 100 times last week before I left for the beach. But did I listen? Absolutely not. I convinced myself that I was strong enough to stand up to my friends and take a stand for Christ. I even tried to convince others that I was strong enough to take a stand. I was answering a question for someone else when I was trying to tell them that God would not give them more than they could handle. Of course He wont, but when we try to give ourselves more than we can handle of course we are going to fail! Stop blaming God! By the way, I am speaking more to myself than anything. Why blame God for your failures when you put yourself into the situation!? Let me share this verse. 1 Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it." First off, temptations happen to everyone so its not like you are the only one. Secondly, others have been able to resist, so can you! Thirdly, don't expect to resist it on your own, God can help! Finally, the situations that you get yourself into are when the temptations come. So, recognize those dangerous situations and run from them. Choose to do what is right and ask for God's help. Also, seek out friends that love God and want to obey Him just as much as you do!

Think On These Things

Philippians 4:8 "8Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Last night, as I was sitting outside looking onto the ocean, I began having thoughts that were really saddening. Memories that tend to haunt me at times, and thoughts of false truths. It really bothered me, and I knew that I was not going to be able to handle them on my own. I went and opened up my bible and fell upon this verse. So, I thought about it. Like, how am I supposed to think of those kinds of things when my head is full of discouragement right now!? I went through each of them and asked myself, "okay, so what is true in my life?" I did this for all of them, and by the time I was done, the memories were gone and I was able to get to bed. After having these thoughts, I am sometimes afraid to go to sleep for fear of having bad dreams. I turned on some praise music and thought about the things I came up with. What's even better is when you ask...what is true about Christ? Going through and making a list really changes your focus and helps you to think on the more positive things of your life. I know for sure that next time I get thoughts like that, I will be turning to this verse and making my list again! Remember, Christ is more powerful than any thought that you have or will ever have!

Not Of This World

For one, I never thought that I would be writing a blog like this ever in my life. A couple of years ago, I cared about what the world thought of me, and how I fit in. The pains of the world were becoming a part of my life, and I seemed to not mind at all. The pains were utterly annoying and at times seemed unbearable. When I accepted Christ, I weened myself from having to fit in and stopped doing the things that I knew I shouldn't have been doing. I still fell into some of those things at times, but it became less and less. Going on vacation with my friends this past weekend has made me realized how sheltered I have made myself. Of course, I knew that my friends drank, as I have drank with them before. I knew that they were having sexual relations with their boyfriends and girlfriends...nothing new. Its when they randomly hook up with people, get so drunk that they don't know what they are doing, and do not care that bothers me! Its not like I have not done any of those things before, but the pain and heartache could be seen right through me as if I was transparent afterwards. Everyone knew that the pain was there...my friends do not show it at all, and even talk as if it is something that is not that big of a deal. Jesus came into this world, but He was not a part of it. Are we not to be Christ like? Are we not to live as Christ did and not live as the world does? For me, I choose to live for Christ, not for the world! Who cares about the sin in your life...there is a gracious God who is there waiting for you to come to Him and say "Oh God, I choose to live my life completely for you, and for you alone!!!"