Stations of the Cross

So, last night, we had the lovely opportunity of going to chapel sometime between 7 and 9 instead of 10 this morning. Now, if anyone knows me, 7 at night is much better than 10 in the morning. Because of the paranoia game that went on on campus, I am lacking in chapel credits because I was too "paranoid" to go. Anyways, I decided that I had to go to get more chapel credits. Last night's chapel was probably the best chapel so far this year. There were 14 stations and each were just talking about Christ's life and how his characteristics should be evident in our lives. One that really hit me was this station that had a mirror with the face of Jesus drawn on it. We sat in the chair and looked at ourselves in the mirror. There was my face, but in front of it was Jesus'. Definetely made me feel disappointed in myself in the way that I am not portraying Christ in my every day life. Another one that really as hard was this station talking about how Joseph of Arimathea and how he took care of Christ' body after he had been buried. The questions that were asked were if we were taking care of our bodies which are temples of God anyways. I for sure know that I do not. There are some days when I go the entire day without eating or anything because I am so busy. This chapel was definetely worth going to.

My Dearest Sara

The greatest thing about being a freshman at college is that you have so many older girls to look up to and follow. I have been blessed to live on a floor where there are girls from every class level. We have one senior who's name is Sara. When I first met Sara, I hated her. She was a freshman mentor (not mine) and she just seemed to be very stuck up. Ever since the paranoia game that was on campus, Sara and I have gotten really close. She is pretty much phenomenal. She is the perfect person that I would want to look up to and to be like. One thing that really stuck out to me from her was her integrity. She values herself so much when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex, and I wish that I was like that as well. I don't have an older sister, so I kind of see Sara as that person. I love listening to her stories and just being her friend in general. Without her, Huntington would totally suck right now. This past week was a rather hard one, and she was there for me every single time that I got down, which was quite often. I also like that its not that I lean on her like she is my crutch. She knows when I can do things on my own even if I don't think that I can do them myself. I may think that I need someone, but she shows me that I can really do it on my own. I don't want this semester to end for the fact that she wont be here next year :-(.

Its Like A Noose Around The Neck

Yesterday in my Discipling Ministries class, we were talking about forgiveness. My professor gave an example of how unforgiveness hangs around us like a noose. It holds us back from a lot of things, and if we move in the wrong way, it can cause pain at times. I really liked this example, and I am pretty sure that this is the only time that I have really paid attention in this class. Its not one of my favorite classes, but at times we really do talk about some interesting things. The forgiveness lesson really made me think about a lot of things. I am someone who kind of holds grudges at times, so I could definetely relate to the idea of it being like a noose. So of course, this had me searching myself to see if there were any areas in which I was holding a grudge against someone. One example came to me immediately. I thought that I had forgiven and moved on from it, but over Christmas break it definetely proved that I didn't. I only thought that I had because I was away from the person while I was here at school. I saw the person over Christmas Break, and a flood of emotions swelled up. This definetely showed that I had not forgiven. Yeah, its going to hurt when that person continuously does things to hurt, but it doesn't give me an excuse to hold on to it forever. That just means that I am going to have to forgive this person over and over, which is probably going to be hard.

Does It Have To Be This Difficult?

Once again its the time to stress about scheduling classes for the next semester. I am also trying to decide if I want to change my major to undecided or not. The schedule that I have made does not have any ministry classes in it, so therefore, it would be leaning towards me being undecided. I am struggling because I want to do both ministry and psychology and sociology. Ministry classes don't really interest me, but the sociology and psychology classes really do. I am meeting with my advisor (the ministry advisor) tomorrow to just try and figure out what the heck I am doing. I just wish I knew what to do so I wouldn't have to make the decision myself. Of course I hate making the decisions for myself. But, the cool thing is that I can do anything I want. I have so many options. I think that it would be so much worse if I didn't have any options. That would be kind of hopeless. I am also really concerned about this whole school work thing as of right now. I am tired of professors and everyone telling me that I have ADD. I am okay if I do, but I don't want to have to take medicine for that too. I pretty much am going to refuse it if they tell me. Its not that horrible...I just get really hyper at times and I find sitting in a class for 50 some minutes is less fun than running around outside for the whole day. Sigh, we will see!

My Mom

I don't think that I have ever posted a blog about my mom before. Her and I are complete opposites. She is rather introverted, and well, if you know me at all, I am extremely extraverted. My mom recently decided to go back to medic school. With my brother and I pretty much on our own, this was perfect timing for her. Ever since she decided to go back, it has been a stressful rollercoaster ride. At first, it was nerve wrecking to see if she got in or not. And since then it has been more of a stress because of the ups and downs. You see, in order for her to pass, she has to achieve an 80 on her exams. Okay for me, that would be stressful because I always hope for a C on my exams haha! She was really worried about not being able to do it. This is what I like about my mom, and really didn't see this in her until recently. She could have just said okay forget this its too hard I quit. But, she didn't! She worked so hard to achieve an 80 or higher. I admire her so much for this. Personally, I would honestly quit. I wouldn't want to deal with the pressure. My mom has shown me that if you want something bad enough, you will do whatever it takes for it to happen. I am so proud of how hard she is working and how determined she is to follow through with something that she wants to do. Definetely something for me to look to and remember when I want to give up, which is often at times!

The Choices That We Make

Spring Break is over, so that means that my first year of college is almost over as well. My spring break was one of adventure and lessons learned. I definetely learned how hard it is to resist temptation even when you are with friends who are strong christians. And, a thing I learned from that was if you are the friend being the good example, its okay to speak out, because the person who is fighting temptation really needs a friend who is going to hold them accountable. A major thing that I learned was that the choices that we make not only effect us, but also those around us. I guess I have never really seen this, and definetely saw a lot of it over spring break. The trip was one of the best of my life, but there are certain parts that I want to forget. I am sure that my friends can both say the same. The main reason of this blog is to share how a friend's decision caused me to see something in a totally different light. I guess I never really fully understood the value of saving yourself until you are married. Of course, I think its great and something that I believed in, but never really looked extremely close at it. My friend made a choice this past week that is going to change her forever. She decided to give it away, and shes regretting it now. Looking at the situation, it isn't worth it, and its not something that you can go back and change. Definetely something to think about, and it has made me more aware of how huge of a struggle it is after the fact.