One More Week!

Its one more week until move in day, and I really don't have a lot of stuff packed. I have some, but mostly because my mom keeps telling me to do it. I've been stuck in the spot of "what am I doing". Lately I have felt like I am just taking myself to an extremely new place where I will have to start completely over. In some ways, I find that to be a good thing. It's like getting a second chance at everything. On the other hand, I feel like I have to build relationships again and everything else. Everyone tells me that this is my chance to get away...away from my past. But, I feel like I am running from it, not getting away from it. I do understand, however, that if its anything, I need to get away from certain things here and the only way to do that is to "run". Lately, its been really bad and getting away seems like a safe thing. Next week I say good bye to my best friend. We have been friends since like kindergarten and I can't imagine what school is going to be like without her. I feel like I'm having one huge pity party and I can't stand it. I want to be so excited about this but its like something is holding me back about it and I don't know what. Don't get me wrong, because I can be excited about all of this, but then I am torn down by my feelings of self doubt and sadness. I am hoping that as soon as I get out there, I will be okay, that its just the fact of being so far away is freaking me out. I better get packing...this may take a while!